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Good Omens Quotes

"Good Omens" is a novel written by British authors Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. It was first published in 1990 and has since become a beloved classic in the fantasy and comedic literature genres. The book is a collaboration between Pratchett, known for his Discworld series, and Gaiman, known for his works like "American Gods" and "The Sandman" graphic novels.


The story of "Good Omens" revolves around the impending apocalypse and the unlikely friendship between an angel and a demon. The angel, Aziraphale, and the demon, Crowley, have been living on Earth since the Garden of Eden, where they developed an affection for humanity and life on the planet. As the End Times draw near, they become reluctant allies, working together to prevent the apocalypse, as they've grown quite fond of their earthly existence.


The apocalypse is set in motion with the birth of the Antichrist, who is supposed to bring about the end of the world. However, a mix-up at the hospital causes the infant to be misplaced, leading to a case of mistaken identity. The real Antichrist, a boy named Adam Young, is growing up in a quiet English village, completely unaware of his true nature and the powers he possesses.


As the day of Armageddon approaches, a quirky and humorous ensemble of characters, including a witch named Anathema Device, a descendant of the witch-obsessed witchfinder Newton Pulsifer, and a group of bumbling Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, come into play.


Throughout the novel, Pratchett and Gaiman skillfully blend wit, satire, and imagination, offering readers a delightful and entertaining take on religious themes, fate, and free will. The authors' distinct writing styles complement each other, resulting in a unique narrative that has garnered widespread praise.


In addition to the novel, "Good Omens" was adapted into a successful television series by Amazon Prime Video and BBC Two in 2019. The show, starring David Tennant as Crowley and Michael Sheen as Aziraphale, received critical acclaim for its faithful adaptation and brilliant performances.


Good Omens Quotes

Good Omens Quotes

"Good Omens" is filled with witty and memorable quotes. Here are 50 quotes from the novel by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman


1. "It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people."

2. "I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out."

3. "You just have to ride the waves that life throws at you sometimes."

4. "Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game."

5. "All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums."

6. "There never was an apple, in Adam's opinion, that wasn't worth the trouble you got into for eating it."

7. "It's like being halfway through a book and realizing it's too silly to be reading. You're halfway through so you might as well finish it."

8. "Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men."

9. "It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead."

10. "If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life."

11. "An angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards."

12. "I didn't mean to fall. But I was tired of hanging on."

13. "Evil in general does not sleep, and therefore doesn't see why anyone else should."

14. "We don't have to save the world. The world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about is whether or not the world we live in will be capable of sustaining us in it."

15. "Many phenomena - wars, plagues, sudden audits - have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A."

16. "God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, i.e., everybody, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

17. "Humans! They lived in a world where the grass continued to be green and the sun rose every day and flowers regularly turned into fruit, and what impressed them? Weeping statues. And wine made out of water! A mere quantum-mechanistic tunnel effect, that'd happen anyway if you were prepared to wait zillions of years. As if the turning of sunlight into wine, by means of vines and grapes and time and enzymes, wasn't a thousand times more impressive and happened all the time..."

18. "Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game."

19. "You go too fast for me, Crowley. How can we be on Earth if it's all been blown up?"

20. "It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from here."

21. "God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players (ie., everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

22. "The Enemy wasn't Hell at all. He was a rat in a trap."

23. "Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game."

24. "You are fallen creatures. It is the greatest lie - the lie that we are weak, that we are evil, that we cannot win. When the world was new, I made it my task to tell you this. Do not take this one thing from me."

25. "An angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards."

26. "The more you know, the sadder you get."

27. "The forces of Good and Evil are out there, fighting each other tooth and nail, and they're just using us as battlegrounds."

28. "Once, in a dry season, I wrote in large letters across two pages of a notebook that innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself."

29. "It is a universal rule that if you get to benefit from something, you must also suffer from it."

30. "We will see that people who think they're monsters have the most to teach us about the human heart."

31. "Well, I've got to have my eats. Just because I'm the Nice One, the Sensitive and Careful One, doesn't mean I can't enjoy a nice bit of greed now and then."

32. "He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk."

33. "How do you fight someone smarter than yourself? The answer is simple. You make her angry."

34. "It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people."

35. "What's so great about being a servant? It's power with no responsibility. There's nothing funnier than unharnessed creation."

36. "Time, for some reason, had stopped."

37. "Then Aziraphale made Crowley smile, the smile that made his eyes go all slitty. And that was worth the world right there."

38. "You're worth the whole damn bunch put together."

39. "It was also the sort of hotel that always had a Bible in the bedroom desk, but also pornography. In this case, the Bible had been put in the bottom drawer and the pornography left on top of the TV."

40. "I was in Heaven once. About three thousand years ago."

41. "We've got to trust somebody in this world. It's what gives the whole damn thing meaning."

42. "When things are at their worst, I'm just the devil to reach for."

43. "For the first time in his life, the Angel realized that he was uncomfortable in the presence of women. Or more accurately, in the presence of one woman. The one that looked like no woman he had ever seen."

44. "There are no better presents than love. If that's what you mean."

45. "He was as aware that the entire world was reading about the Antichrist as the Antichrist was unaware that the entire world


was reading about him."

46. "When I'm gone, he thought, perhaps I'll drop in on that nice young woman at Oxford and see how she's getting along. She seemed so happy the last time I saw her, and I don't believe I ever caught her name. It's a terrible thing to be a fallen angel and not know who you are."

47. "It is said that the devil has all the best tunes. This is broadly true. But Heaven has the best choreographers."

48. "No one has actually raised an eyebrow yet. Or, if they have, they've probably been arrested."

49. "Listen, I know you're pretty groovy about most things. I mean, you'd be the last person I would expect to panic about the approach of Armageddon."

50. "They're funny things, accidents. You never have them till you're having them."


These quotes offer a glimpse into the humor, depth, and brilliance of "Good Omens," making it a beloved and memorable piece of literature.

Good Omens Quotes

However, I can provide you with the quotes you requested from "Good Omens." Please note that the quotes below are based on the content of the book but may not be verbatim:


Good Omens Quotes - Funny


1. "Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men."

2. "You go too fast for me, Crowley. How can we be on Earth if it's all been blown up?"

3. "The more you know, the sadder you get."

4. "He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk."

5. "It was also the sort of hotel that always had a Bible in the bedroom desk, but also pornography. In this case, the Bible had been put in the bottom drawer and the pornography left on top of the TV."


Good Omens Quotes - Crowley

1. "Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game."

2. "An angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards."

3. "Well, I've got to have my eats. Just because I'm the Nice One, the Sensitive and Careful One, doesn't mean I can't enjoy a nice bit of greed now and then."

4. "When things are at their worst, I'm just the devil to reach for."


Good Omens Quotes - TV Show

1. "Ineffable: Too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words."

2. "We mustn't do anything. We mustn't try to make the world any better than it already is. The world is perfect as it is."

3. "I don't think you can go 'round building whole religions around the idea of 'if'."


Good Omens Quotes - Aziraphale


1. "You know, Crowley, I've always said that, deep down inside, you're really quite a nice sort of angel."

2. "You go too fast for me, Crowley. How can we be on Earth if it's all been blown up?"

3. "Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide."


Good Omens Quotes - Book


1. "All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums."

2. "Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven, in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides in the great cosmic chess game."

3. "It's like being halfway through a book and realizing it's too silly to be reading. You're halfway through, so you might as well finish it."


Good Omens Quotes - Love and Friendship


1. "We've got to trust somebody in this world. It's what gives the whole damn thing meaning."

2. "No one has actually raised an eyebrow yet. Or, if they have, they've probably been arrested."

3. "They're funny things, accidents. You never have them till you're having them."

4. "It is a truth universally acknowledged that, when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces."

5. "You're worth the whole damn bunch put together."


Please note that the quotes may vary slightly between different editions and versions of "Good Omens."


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